Yes, My Husband and I have actually had this conversation!

If you were at my house listening while my husband and I were having this conversation you would probably end up taking us to court and suing us for that 15 minutes of your life that was taken from you that you'll never get back. The last time was a couple months ago when we bought a new mattress and box spring for our 4 yr old daughter, she moved out of her toddler bed into a big girl bed, we are unwrapping the plastic and getting the bed all set up. Here's how it went down...

Me: "I'm going to get the scissors and cut these tags off cause they are sticking up" (idiot, I should just keep my mouth shut, but I never learn)

Him: "You're not supposed to" (with a distressed look on his face)

Me: "Why not?"

Him: "Because it says you're not supposed to"

Me: "Yeah that's for the retailer, see it says reetaiillleeerrr"

Him: "Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes, trust me"

Him: "Well I don't think you should" (still with the concerned look)

Me: "Why? What's going to happen?" (trying not to stab him with the scissors that I grabbed)

Him: "I just think you should leave them on"

Me: "Why what's going to happen, the minute I cut it an alarm goes off at the mattress tag removal prevention taskforce headquarters and they dispatch their swat team to come crashing through our windows to arrest us?" "So is cutting the tag off a mattress a felony and cutting the tags off pillows misdemeanors?"

Him: "Forget it" (obviously irritated at my last response)

So if anybody from the Mattress Tag Removal Prevention Task Force (MTRPTF) is reading, we are in full compliance with all of our mattresses and pillows thanks to my Husband, if it were up to me we would be living a lawless existence as fugitives just looking for my next high, my next tag to cut off, cuz that's how I roll !


  1. LOVED IT. Wife & Mother....yes you are absolutely correct....but this should make you look at your husband with wiser eyes. You obviously have a gem of an honest man for a husband. Anyone who is that conscious of following the law is someone that you never have to worry about doing anything illegal. Maybe fattening, but not illegal. You are time just cut the darn tags off and don't say a word.


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